I am so, so, very sorry.

I’m angry again.Sigh… . Once again, an adult adoptee shared their pain in an adoption community. It was heartbreaking and I completely identified with this person, but I was too afraid to respond. Why? Once again, the birthmothers told this person that they had to understand the birthmothers pain! And, once again the majority of adult adoptees kept silent.

(I am no different…. I am so fearful that even writing this anonymously is giving me a panic attack.)

Let me be very clear: Birthmothers do not understand my pain! Here’s the result of birthmothers explaining to me of how hard and traumatizing it was for them to give up their baby: The more they tell me about their pain, the more guilty I feel and the more worthless I feel!

Why do birthmothers respond so enthusiastically to adoptee questions, when it is very clear that the questioner…

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