The loss that is never really defined completely, the grief that never finds closure, the hopes and dreams that are not realized. I really couldn’t have said it better myself.

Musings of a Birthmom

Adoption always begins with a loss for the birth parents (and the rest of the birth family) as well as for the adoptee. Putting your finger on exactly what is lost can be difficult. You have lost a child, but the child still exists. However, you cannot physically touch the child you have lost. Even in open adoptions, with the ability to physically touch the child, you have a loss of your motherhood to that child.

This loss can be defined as an ambiguous loss. Since ambiguous loss is still a theory, there is no official definition. However, I will use Webster’s Dictionary to define each separate word. Ambiguous – not expressed or understood clearly. Loss – failure to keep or to continue to have something; the experience of having something taken from you or destroyed. Wikipedia defines ambiguous loss as “a loss that occurs without closure or understanding. This kind…

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